Democracy Day in America a Success for Minnesota

I don't like to get political on my internet space very often, but I feel it is incumbent upon me (no pun intended) to acknowledge the fine work that the sensible people of Minnesota did yesterday at the polls. While the rest of the world fixated on a race that was, quite frankly, never really in doubt in my opinion, the lords and ladies of the Land of 10,000 Lakes had other fish to fry:
  1. First and foremost, we defeated a constitutional amendment that would have defined marriage as being between a man and a woman. Now, as rhesus monkeys and panda bears have yet to be given the vote, one can probably surmise that the goal of this amendment was to preempt any future attempts to legalize gay marriage. It should be noted that gay marriage is not legal in Minnesota right now, but you can bet your sweet ass that someday it will be. The purpose of this amendment was to pitch a taller roadblock on our way to the inevitable. Kudos to 51.3% of you, my fellow Minnesotans.
  2. Another constitutional amendment would have required the presentation of government ID in order to vote, which would likely disenfranchise at least some Minnesotans. The goal was to prevent rampant voter fraud, which dilutes each Minnesotan's vote, according to proponents. Unfortunately, this rampant voter fraud (113 convictions after the 2008 election, mostly felons) failed to outweigh the potential disenfranchisement of over 215,000 people who do not have government ID that matches their current address.
  3. #FourMoreYears. My Republican friends like to gloss over the fact that the banks collapsed under Bush, not Obama, and that the 44th President has overseen programs that saved massive American industries such as banking and those car thingys. He was dealt a shit hand and did the best he could. He also put an end to the war in Iraq and set a date for us adjourning from Afghanistan. Mitt Romney and his chameleon-esque election policies were never the answer, and despite his best efforts to fuck things up on that stage in Denver, the President of the United States remains Barry O.

So all in all, a hugely successful night for Minnesotans. The only black mark comes from the 6th Congressional District, where troglodytes and masochists conspired to give the good people of Greater St. Cloud two more years of representation from one of the most tragic caricatures in the history of United States politics.

Jesse the Body was an embarrassment at times, but he was OUR embarrassment. This clown epitomizes the failures of the Republican Party and its extremist offshoot, the Tea Party, as the parties of NO. Minnesotans are better than this, and we'll prove it in two years; yes, YES we will.